There’s a huge difference between fear and danger. When you’re fully in the present moment, you may experience danger. Fear, however, is worrying about the future. To be able to discern the difference is a powerful step in the process of maturing as a human being. As we become discerning, we heal fears that block our joy, happiness and success in every area of our life, including: healthy relationships with food, our body and other people; our job; money and our over-all health and well-being. Here is another blog post on fear.
Fear on the Highway
I had two experiences earlier this week that showed me my own growth in moving from fear to freedom. In the first one, I was driving on the highway when a car started moving into my lane. I knew we were going to collide. Before I could even think, I found myself blasting my horn. I kept my hand on the horn longer than I needed to because it was my way of yelling at the driver. After realizing that I was out of danger, I took a deep breath, as we talk about on my show, and stopped my thoughts which were sending the energy of blame and anger to the driver. Because I didn’t want that negative energy hanging out there, I did what I always do in a situation like this. As Carolyn Myss suggested, I said in my mind to the driver: “I wish you no harm, I take my spirit back, God bless you.” As I calmed down, I realized that under the blame and anger was the fear of being injured or possibly killed. I quickly thanked my guides and angels for protecting me and then I took another deep breath, this time of blue light, to release the fear, blame and anger.
Silver Lining
My silver lining was that I realized how fast I responded to the threat and how quickly I recovered because I was in the present moment. I was responding to danger, not reacting to fear. I was not back in my father’s house where I would freeze because any action on my part was always the wrong action and would result in my being hurt physically, emotionally or psychologically. This was an experience that allowed me to see how much I’ve grown and healed. Now, I can be in the present moment and respond with a positive outcome that caused no harm to anyone. I could quickly and easily feel the fear and then let it go. When I tell this story, it isn’t about the other driver because in truth, we’ve all made driving errors. I have been that driver who didn’t see the car in my blind spot. Unless he wanted to kill himself, he didn’t intentionally put us both in danger. And, as I think about it now, who was I really angry with—him, previous drivers who did hit me, or me for all the times I was him, or was it all of these? With that awareness, next time, and there will be a next time because we’re all human, hopefully I’ll just send an appropriate warning to the driver rather than blasting my horn because now I have compassion for myself and all of us who unintentionally put someone else in danger, on the road or elsewhere. When I tell this story, it’s about my healing and a strong sense of gratitude for being safe and for having grown so much.
Fear of Technology
The second experience was a computer story. Technology is not my strong suite and I often find myself getting frustrated with the people who are trying to help me because I’m having difficulty understanding what they’re telling me to do. It’s almost like the Universe is going to continue to give me these challenges until I master my frustration and stop blaming them. I made a huge step in that direction this week when I was working on the phone with the help desk. For the first time, I became aware of a sensation in my stomach. As I focused on it, I felt the physical indication of frustration welling up inside me. Then I also became aware of how depleted of energy I was. I hadn’t eaten lunch yet and I was out of resources physically, mentally and emotionally. I knew I had to stop unless I wanted the experience to get out of hand. I thanked him for his help and told him I’d have to call back to finish the work. I felt blessed with the silver lining of my growth in recognizing and stopping the interaction at the first sign of frustration rather than sinking into fear. Do I still wish I could manage technology with more ease? Absolutely, and with my new awareness I can begin creating fewer negative experiences and that hopefully will lead to positive ones. Stay tuned, I’m in process and will continue to share my progress with you and my silver linings.
Being in the Moment with Food
Just like I can now be more in the present moment with my emotions, I can also be in the present moment with my eating. More about that here. When shopping, I no longer even think about buying sweets. I truly prefer the taste of healthy food and the way it makes me feel afterwards. I have changed many lifelong food choices and replaced them with food that is more satisfying and energizing. I like getting my sweet fix with intense dark chocolate which is healthy and tasty. I’ve learned to listen to my body, to be connected to it and to feed it what it needs and desires even if it doesn’t fit the current notion of how many servings of whatever is believed to be necessary each day. The supposed experts keep changing their minds and, more importantly, they don’t know my body. I read a great study a number of years ago that concluded that when young children are allowed to freely choose what they want to eat, over the course of a week they will eat a healthy and balanced diet. That made a lot of sense to me and led me to start paying attention to when I felt hungry and then what I felt like eating in that moment on that day. Sometimes I need more protein and other times more fruit or vegetables. This method has created an excitement and joy in eating. It’s no longer a trauma for me to be faced with food decisions. And this shift began when I started practicing yoga and getting to know my body.
Through yoga, I learned to pay attention to what I like and don’t like, when I’m sad or angry or frustrated, where my body is in space. I now ask myself questions like: Am I tired? Will I hurt myself if I keep pushing through this project? Will I be more alert, focused and effective if I wait until morning or after a short nap? When I find myself thinking: I should, I must, I have to, I stop and check in with my body to determine what is right for me in that moment. This process has helped me change my life in every way possible.
My last radio show guest, Sarahjoy Marsh, was kind enough to send me the following information to help you find a yoga class that will be truly helpful to you in changing your relationship to your body and to food and eventually, to everything in your life. Wishing you blessings on your journey.
