In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, my guest, veterinarian Karlene Stange, and I explore the spiritual nature of animals and the unique benefits of pet ownership. She shared how the animals around us are often mirrors of our behaviors and feelings. For example, one couple noticed that their dog got very upset every time they argued. It caused them to look at how much pain they were causing themselves and to find new ways to resolve their differences that didn’t involve yelling. Animals are wonderful teachers. They don’t hold a grudge. They accept and forgive. We can learn from their healthy attitudes. She also taught us that it is an honor to be present with our beloved animals during their dying process. It’s an opportunity to share our love, offer forgiveness and gratitude, and help them move on to their life after death, just as we can do with our human loved ones. In this blog, you can follow Marian Stephens’ progress as she shares how she is using the information in this episode to change her life and my coaching response to her. More of Marian’s story and all my previous blogs are on my website, paulajoyce.com. Be sure to check them out.
Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week
Animals are part of the natural world. As such, connecting with them offers us the same benefits as being in nature does. The splendor of nature is the perfect setting to deepen our connection with our higher self. Our lives are busy, and our minds are even busier – the peace and quiet of nature is a way to experience the divine love the Universe offers us.
My Tip for this week is from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-empowerment. I wrote this book because when you are self-empowered, you are connected to your limitless higher self, your soul, your intuition, your gut feelings, your guidance. Our limitless higher self is the wiser part of ourselves, the part that knows the Truth of who we are. Your tip is: Observe nature. One form of meditation is to sit and relax in nature or to look outside from a comfortable spot. Enjoy the beauty of the sunset, the flowers, the birds singing. Nature is always communicating with us, but we are not always aware of the communication. The result is that we miss out on so much of the joy in life. Our minds have a limited view of the world and what is possible, which closes us off from deepening our relationships with the world of animals, plants and minerals. If you have a dog or cat, you know that animals communicate love. Do we, however, recognize all their abilities to express love, problem solve and let us know what they want and need without speaking a word. Communication is a two-way street. They may be talking to us, but are we listening? To really listen, we need to open our thinking and assume they have consciousness and needs and desires that don’t always match what we want. During the years I’ve been doing my radio show, I have shared several experiences with my cat and other animals that have helped me open up my belief system and know that animals are much more like us than we have wanted to admit.
Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story
Pet ownership is fulfilling and a large responsibility that, oftentimes, comes with difficult choices. Learning to listen to your pet is the key to a harmonious relationship.
My cat, Benji, was a great teacher for me in many ways. In the end, he taught me that I could not superimpose my will over his. I was not in charge of his emotions and I was not capable of making him happy in a situation that was intolerable for him. When he was acting out, refusing to use his box to go to the bathroom and spending a lot of time whining at me, nothing I did was changing the situation, and he was becoming more upset every day. He was clearly telling me that he did not want to share me with clients, and I kept trying not to listen. I didn’t want to give him up, but I also didn’t want him to be miserable. He had been my friend and companion for over 12 years, and I wasn’t ready to let go. In the end, Benji gave me no choice because I was even less willing to lock him in my bathroom or have my entire home become his bathroom. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he became increasingly aggressive in making his needs clear in a way that he knew I couldn’t ignore. When I finally gave in and found him a new home, he became my old Benji. We had a loving good-bye, and he adjusted quickly and easily to his new family. His bathroom behaviors went back to normal in their home and he became the loving cat he had always been. He’s now happy in a home with a young boy and his parents, all of whom give him plenty of attention with no competition from my clients. When I was looking for a good placement for Benji, I contacted someone who helps cats find homes. I described his behaviors to explain why I needed to rehome him. She advised me to put Benji on anti-depressants, which I did not do. It was clear to me that he was unhappy for a reason and that drugging him might make him compliant but certainly not happy. Recognizing his needs and honoring his right to be in an environment that met those needs, did make him happy. I still check on him periodically just to make sure he’s still doing well. I have peace of mind knowing that the only way I could show my love and gratitude to him was to let him move on. Every now and then I think I see or hear him and I know he’s sending his love long distance, just like I often think of a friend or child who then calls. We are all connected as spiritual beings, and Benji will always be in my heart, and as he keeps telling me, I will also always be in his heart.
Marian Stephens’ Story
Because Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit is changing my life, I am having my family and friends listen so they can benefit from the show as I am. I knew that my mom had to experience this week’s show, so I had her listen along with me. I am so glad that I did because she had a huge breakthrough – she was able to let go of pain she has been holding on to for the last year. My mom’s dog, Sookie, had two puppies and they both had congenital liver problems. She and I bottle-fed, carried around, and loved both puppies until they were 5 months old, but then we had to make the painful choice to have them euthanized. We held them as they passed, but they left a hole in both our hearts. My mom has felt a sense of failure because we were not able to save them. After listening to Karlene Stange, she realized that she has held on to her feeling of loss too long. Both puppies were ready to go because they were in pain. She knows that they experienced an exceptional life full of love because of her and chose to embrace that knowledge instead of the memory of having to let them go.
Dr. Paula asks listeners to reflect on how they will realize the true nature of animals. One of the downsides of living in an apartment is that it is not set up to house pets. When I lived with my parents, we had many pets, and each one was my friend. I miss the companionship of the pets, and the joy each one brings with their distinct personalities. It is a joy to visit them when I go to my parents, and I will take extra time now to love on them after listening because the show reminds me that they really do love me.
This last week has been trying. I was in the hospital with colitis and Multiple Sclerosis issues. The neurologist at the hospital confirmed the suspicion that my course of MS has changed from relapsing to progressive. This is very difficult to hear, and I am immeasurably grateful that I have this show and the teachings to lift my spirits. I handled the hospital stay with more grace than I have in the past. My husband, Rob, and I have taken to discussing the silver linings of our difficulties. This helps both of us to see the positive and shape our story how we see fit. We chose our apartment because it is surrounded by trees and right by a lake. Spring is in full bloom right outside our window. We decided to recuperate for a day at home after I left the hospital instead of jumping right back into our busy life. We practically got to watch the new leaves grow and become every hue of green imaginable through our window as we rested together. We both felt a sense of renewal and growth, and that might not have happened without being forced to slow down.
Dr. Paula’s Coaching Response
Marian, I’m so grateful to know that the show helped your mother, you and your husband in such a meaningful way. Clearly you are all learning to look for the good in everything. There are always silver linings. If we choose to focus on the trauma, that becomes our life. Learning to see the gifts within every situation, changes the quality of our life. I’m really impressed at how quickly you are learning to do this. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our response–and that makes all the difference. Thank you for being so willing to bring the good into your life.
For more shows on the joy of animals, please listen to:
- White Spirit Animals: Prophets of Change with Zohara Hieronimus
- The Supposedly Enlightened Person’s Guide to Raising a Dog with Kac Young
- Communicating with Nature with Tamarack Song
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