Most of us find it difficult to look at the traumas or difficulties in our past or present. We think that if we pretend it never happened, everything will be fine. The fact is, that when we bury our past traumas, they continue to harm us even if we don’t know it. The problem is that whatever blockage we are experiencing today is so far removed from the past trauma that we often don’t see the relationship. And it can even be something that appears small or unimportant when it really wasn’t. The challenge then becomes allowing ourselves to see the truth, to feel the pain, and let it go. My way into seeing the truth of my life was through the spiritual realm.
One of my biggest physical challenges has been my scoliosis. It has also been one of my greatest gifts. It was because my spine was getting worse and I did not want to put a steel rod in my back that I began exploring alternative methods of healing, including spiritual means. In fact, my spine is healing but most importantly, I began to heal emotionally enough to wake up from the make-believe life that I had created in my mind. As I faced reality, I slowly made changes until my life and my health transformed.
A Beginning
As a child, my uncle nicknamed me “the little klutz” because I was always bumping into things. It was only years later after practicing yoga that I realized I no longer bumped into things. I had reconnected with my body. I understood this as my first important step toward spirituality and healing from abuse when I heard Dr. Chris Courtois talk about the importance of spirituality in healing trauma. I also like that she talks about healing from trauma. Most psychologists, who I know, don’t believe that people can truly heal. They talk about survivors of abuse. The fact is, however, that if you are still breathing, you are actually surviving even if you are still in an abusive relationship. I like the term healing because it reflects my experience and that of my clients. We can overcome our past, we can heal and we can live full, happy lives.
My path to healing has involved many aspects of spirituality. I have grappled with the difficult questions of: Why me? Is there no justice? How could God allow this to happen? Why is there evil in the world? Do I have to forgive someone who has hurt me over and over again? Or isn’t it my responsibility to forgive even if the person doesn’t admit to having done anything wrong? As I went to deeper levels of healing, the questions and the answers changed. I and my clients find our way through the recognition of the injustices in the world and eventually come to terms with the reality that there is cruelty and that we can’t see or know the big picture. At one point, I even remember realizing that I was lucky because the abuse had brought me closer to God. And that was another part of my healing path—discovering and nurturing and growing a powerful connection to the spiritual realm. I feel a level of support and love that I never thought possible. I see the presence of God, my angels and guides everywhere. I see, hear and feel their communication with me directly and through me to my clients. It’s been a journey to cultivate the ability to open up to allowing the Divine to work through me. It is the way that I finally felt whole and at peace. It has allowed me to let go of the tormenting thoughts and fears and to see the positive and the healing in everything.
Perspective is Everything
We don’t always have a choice about what happens to us, but we always have a choice about how we look at our experiences. I’ve begun to think about the healing process as using feng shui. Just like we cleanout our closets and throw away old clothes, we have to continuously examine our relationships, experiences and attitudes and throw out the ones that are outmoded and don’t fit who we are now. As we do, we then have the challenge of living with the void until it gets filled again with healthier relationships and attitudes and experiences. I call this wandering in the desert between the slavery of Egypt and the joy of the promised land. While we’re in this process, we can think about it in different ways. We can believe that we’re all alone and will never have friends or a great job or whatever it is that we are changing or we can see that we have to say no to what we don’t want and then live in the emptiness for a bit until we draw in the people and experiences that are right for us now. Then it’s important to notice the one or two or three new friendships or new job opportunities and welcome them with gratitude rather than complaining that we don’t have more. As we recognize the good in our lives, we are able to bring in even more good. Gratitude is the most powerful place from which to manifest.
The other thing that I do while I’m in the transition times, is pay attention to what I’m learning. I do believe that there is a divine purpose and that we are here on earth to learn and to grow in love and compassion, to overcome our fears and allow ourselves to become the beautiful person who we were meant to be. Carolyn Myss teaches the wisdom that we are in charge of what we want and God is in charge of how and when. It’s God’s timeline, not mine; and God’s timing is always the right timing. While waiting, I have learned to see and appreciate the non-material things I’m gaining, like patience, gratitude, faith, trust, seeing and hearing God in all of my experiences, the ability and willingness to relax or listen or just be silent or laugh. I have learned to pause so that God and my guides and angels can help pave the path for me and put me where I need to be at the right time. It’s often when I’m relaxing that the best ideas come to me or I get an unexpected email or call that brings blessings. I’ve learned to stop trying to knock down closed doors because an open door is so much easier and brings me exactly what I need in delightfully surprising ways.
My healing has also come through many of the spiritual tools and processes that I’ve talked about on this show, like aromatherapy, crystals, meditation, sound, color and energy healing, acupuncture, prayer, writing, symbols and rituals, breath, my ultimate creative problem solving process and 21 steps for healing your body. And, of course, nature.
Awe
Just this last week-end I went to a day-long women’s spiritual retreat. Earlier in the week, I had been thinking that I was exhausted and really just needed a day away from everything. The timing was perfect. One of my favorite activities involved taking a walk in nature to stimulate creativity. We were told to allow ourselves to be drawn to a specific aspect of nature, take a photograph of it and write about it. I immediately went to the places with water. I took several photographs and chose 2 for my writing. One was a waterfall and the other was quieter water with a gorgeous reflection of a large tree. I didn’t even notice the tree until I was looking at the photograph afterwards. My eye had been focused on another part of the water and I was pleasantly surprised to discover the beauty of the tree’s reflection. I wrote, as I often do, in a flow without stopping to think or to edit. Here is what I wrote:
Water/emotions/change
Flow, stop, reflect
Move fast, loudly, insistently
Move slowly, quietly, calmly
Many speeds, many approaches, all leading us forward
Then rest, integrate, enjoy
Above all, take time for awe
True healing comes from the spiritual realm as we transform the negative energy in our bodies into light. I invite you to use some of these spiritual tools to heal the traumas in your life or just to enhance your enjoyment of life.
