Guilt Destroys Your Joy

by | Jan 27, 2020 | Emotional Health, Gratitude

By Dr. Paula Joyce, Ph.D.

Letting go of the guilt we all carry is difficult, but important. None of us are perfect. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. Some are more serious than others and may cause a greater pang of guilt. When we hang onto the guilt, we become our own jailer. It’s as if we’ve sentenced ourselves to a lifetime of pain without the possibility of parole. The key to letting ourselves out of jail is self-forgiveness.

Guilt is designed to teach us, to help us become more ethical, compassionate, empathetic and loving human beings. It’s a signal, pointing out that we may not have been our best self when we said or did a particular thing. The healthy use of guilt is to examine what we did, self-correct in the moment if we can or determine how we will do it differently next time, sincerely apologize when appropriate, forgive ourselves and go on with our day. Where most of us get caught is in the inability to forgive ourselves. We replay the experience over and over again in our minds, punishing ourselves with what we consider to be our stupidity. We hold on to it, usually building it way out of proportion. Other people have moved on and we’re stuck in the muck.

One of my radio show guests, Lynn Russell, studied 2500 near-death experiences. Her most important discovery was surprising. There is no Hell in the after-life—except that created through one’s own guilt. Likewise, when we constantly relive our guilt here, we create our own hell on earth and destroy our joy. Focusing on what we did wrong in the past, leaves us unable to appreciate the present and extract the beauty of the Now.

Techniques for Letting Go of Guilt

  • Use the concept of the serenity prayer. If you can do something about it, do it. If you can’t do anything about it, accept it and learn for the next time.
  • Realize the truth of our existence. We are here to learn and grow as human beings and souls. Focus on the learning and growth rather than eating up your energy with self-blame.
  • Forgive yourself. You can see yourself as a younger person. Even if the incident just happened 5 seconds ago, you are now older and wiser as a result of seeing where you still need to grow.
  • Be kind to yourself. The kind voice is the voice of love, the energy of the Divine. Literally erase the critical words that are repeating in your mind and replace them with healing words that feel authentic to you. Some examples might be: “I’m always learning.” “I did better this time than the last time I was in a similar situation.” “I’m proud of myself for …”
  • Fill yourself with love from the Divine and it will force out the guilt. Breathe in white light and feel it filling your entire being. Breath is connected to your soul. Use it to fill with positivity.
  • Let the guilt pass through you and into the ground. Research shows that if you wait 90 seconds, the negative feelings will pass.
  • I use this technique every morning to help me release past guilt and other negative emotions and to avoid holding onto negativity as it occurs throughout the day. This will help you heal, balance and stabilize your emotions: “I ask the Universal Pink Heart of Love to surround me, the Universal Turquoise Heart of Love to surround the pink heart and the Universal White Heart of Love to surround both and that a gold cord go from the bottom of my heart chakra into the center of the earth.” The Universal Heart of Love in various colors is extremely powerful because it is pure love. Where there is love, no fear, stress, anxiety, guilt or any other negative emotion can exist.
  • Be conscious of whether you’re feeling guilty for something that you need to correct or because of false beliefs. Sometimes we’ve been taught other people are more important than we are. This is not true. If you enjoy giving to others, that’s great. Just remember: If the well is dry, you have nothing to give. Relationships should be balanced, with people both giving and receiving.

As always, be patient with yourself. This is a process, not an event.

Remember, You Are Loved.

For more tips on turning guilt and adversity into joy, check out these past episodes of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit:

Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Blessings,

Dr. Paula Joyce, The Life Doctor

Personal, Business, and Spiritual Transformation Coach
Email- drpaula@drpaulajoyce.com
Office Phone- 972.788.2393
To learn more, please visit my website-www.drpaulajoyce.com
To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit-CLICK HERE

Since 1993, Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their relationships, health, and wealth through her personal, business, and spiritual life coaching, speaking, writing, and radio show.