This last week-end I was actually inspired by a participant in a presentation that I gave at the Dallas Jewish Learning Fest. We were talking after the presentation and he said he wanted to thank me for helping him. He went on to say that he used to weigh 400 pounds and had been in a prison because of what he allowed into his eyes, ears and mouth. It was such a beautiful and honest way of expressing his own role in the circumstances of his life. It is only when we acknowledge our own responsibility that we can then use that power to heal ourselves. He particularly loved one of the exercises that I shared on releasing fear because of its simplicity and amazing impact. He said that he literally felt lighter after doing it.
Exercise for Releasing Fear
I would like to share it with you and hope that you find the same release that he and the other participants did. You’ll need to write this down and go back later and do it. First, ask yourself: if fear, were a color, what color would it be? Then think of a symbol that represents fear. On a piece of paper, use the color you chose to draw the symbol that represents fear. Then simply tear up the paper into tiny pieces, like confetti, and throw it up in the air. At the end of this simple exercise, you will have released a layer of fear and you will feel lighter and more at ease. If you think that this is too easy, you’re wrong. You can do this every time you feel fear and it will help you release more each time. You can also use this for other emotions that are creating problems for you, like guilt or shame.
This kind of technique really works and as we release the fears that create negativity and darkness within our cells, we literally get younger. One client said to me this week, a number of people have told me recently that I look younger. The Ultimate Creative Solving Process we use in our sessions is why I look younger isn’t it? Absolutely it is because the process allows people to release the hidden barriers to success in every area of their life. And underneath every blockage, there is always a fear. As we release those fears, we actually reverse the aging process. We are made of light and as we release the fear in our minds, emotions and bodies, we become lighter and younger.
Freeing Yourself
Last week I was listening to a report on National Public Radio about how the widows in India broke tradition to participate in a national holi celebration of colors. Instead of wearing white, as they are supposed to, they wore colorful saris. They further broke tradition by throwing powdered colors in the air and dancing, like everyone else. The reporter talked about the joy the women felt in celebrating this holiday that they had previously been barred from taking part in. No one really granted them permission this year. They gave themselves permission and broke through their fears of being criticized and allowed themselves to feel the same joy that everyone else did. Social tradition prevented their participation in the past, but they had to silently agree to not participate. This year some of the women even bought make up and talked about how it made them feel younger and feminine again. It will be interesting to see the ramifications that this new freedom creates. Once you release the fear, you can’t go back to it. There may be another layer of fear to release, but you never go backwards even if it feels like it. The next layer of fear may feel the same, but it isn’t. With each new layer that we release, we experience more freedom and self-empowerment and joy.
The fascinating thing is that as you peel away the layers of complex feelings from blame to shame to anger to guilt or judgment or jealousy, what’s underneath it all is fear. Here are some examples of what I mean: we may blame someone for a problem because we fear they will blame us; we strike out in anger because we fear that we will never get what we want; we judge someone because we fear they will judge us or that we are not good enough. When you look truthfully, you can find your own fear under every painful emotion. As we recognize these fears and allow ourselves to feel them, they begin to release and we can experience peace.
No More Judgment
Even more profound is that when we stop judging our experiences and ourselves as either good or bad, fear cannot even enter our energy field. When we stop judging, we stop struggling, we accept what is, allow ourselves to feel and ultimately trust that all is well and will continue to be well. This doesn’t mean denying reality. We certainly want to look at our own behavior and determine if there’s something we need to learn and do differently in the future. We can do this more quickly and effectively if we remove the judgment and the fear because then we can think with clarity. When we’re in fear, we are anxious and our mind is chaotic. When we’re in acceptance, trust and faith, we feel peaceful. It is from this place of peace that we can make sound choices and take the best actions possible.
Often that action is releasing ourselves from a self-imposed jail, just like the women in India did or my workshop participant who lost 200 pounds and now refuses to allow into his mind the things that put him in that prison. We all have thoughts that imprison us. It’s up to us to stop letting them live rent free in our minds. I have one client who is practicing a modern day version of lent by giving up the thoughts that limit and hurt him.
When we realize at a deep level that we are on this earth to learn, to release irrational fear, to connect more deeply with God and the positive spiritual realm and to live with faith and trust, life becomes easier because we are able to face the challenges in our life as opportunities.
